I wish I had succeeded. Facing death was the most hopeful thing I’ve ever experienced. accepting it , waiting for it, was the scariest. But I slurred all my final wishes and apologies And when I was too sedated to finish I accepted it. I accepted that this was my way out. My escape that never came.
I am so done with life. And feeling that feeling every second of everyday is like being dead already. Knowing that I am worth nothing. Knowing it will never be the same if I keep breathing or trying. Suffering to live in pain, noone deserves this. My sickness is a deadly one. The only difference between it and a terminal illness is that they have a plug they can pull. But being mentally sick, you have to dream up your own plug, create it yourself, and then pull it.